This topic cycles around fairly frequently, so let’s talk about it.
Eventually, and oddly enough – the exclusivity conversation can happen more quickly than we are prepared for. Even when we are in a place of obsession with wanting the girlfriend title, there are nuances in this dynamic of desire and understanding that often stifles the relationship we want.
You can start preparing emotionally and in an array of other ways for these relationship-deepening exchanges.
One Focus Area for Preparing for an Exclusivity talk: THE WORDS YOU CHOOSE
Of course We want to know the right things to say, that won’t disrupt any good vibes we have created together up to this point….wherever ‘this point’ may be in the process of dating and getting to know each other.
and the words we choose are important, yet are also only the frosting layer of the cake.
it’s surprising how much preparation goes into choosing words that connect you to you, as well as invite a potential romantic partner deeper into connection and intimacy.
Let that be the target when you get to this space of “what do I even say?”
When we are dating, there’s so much chemistry, desire, and disappointment flying around – and as a woman feeling strange vibes, (attraction, tension, and desire) there are many reasons to embrace the “take your time” model of dating, in a warm and classy way.
Honoring that part of you that says, ‘now still feels too early to ‘pair off’ and settle'”
So here’s a cheat sheet for you to navigate this territory, book in a private session time with me here and I can guide you through the nuances, and using your unique emotional attraction voice 1-on-1, yet here’s a basic guideline to follow:
A MAN ASKS YOU FOR MORE EXCLUSIVITY
- look him in the eyes, really, deeply. melt, open your heart to him — to what the mysteries that have brought you both together —
you know you need to honor yourself here, but that is a confusing ball of yarn, it also doesn’t make sense…puttiing it all into words….yet…. and you don’t need to push yourself so hard to have the right words.
2. listen, with all your senses, with your heart open and your body soft, can you allow yourself to be curious?
3. choose the words, here are a few that to me feel honoring of all parties “what would that look like? I’m not sure what you are asking me, I don’t know what that means…..”
4. continue to Listen. see how you are able to stay with him, notice where you want to shut down, or run away….even in any slight way….
5. Stay with you. You can be warm even while saying “I’m not ready.”
Catch yourself wanting to be clever, notice yourself wanting to fight or explain, or bargain. Simple truths may be as clever as you need to be, it’s radical honesty here that we are practicing. “I like you, and ….It feels scary to say I’m not ready….”
That’s a structure you can use to help you reconnect with you, so you can invite the love and emotional safety you want into the relationship of your dreams.
Practice! and let me know how it changes how you show up for yourself and the relationship you yearn for.
It may feel scary to say ‘no’, especially when you really like him, but saying ‘no’ from the right place never broke a good relationship.